Waiting to depart

Greetings my friends…….I am home and in deep process after a truly amazing 2 month pilgrimage.  Blessed am I to be doing this sacred work and enjoying life to the fullest within this service.  With each passing day the message gets clearer:

“Just allow……allow the unfolding….no need to push….just allow”. 

This journey has been a healing at a very deep level, a healing that all beings need really,  to trust that all is well in every moment and to allow the Divine to guide and sustain.

Beginning this journey with Ava and Morrigan from the Orange County Goddess Temple, was a real treat.  Heading off to the redwoods outside San Francisco, sitting in the back seat, watching the world go by and listening to the animated sharing of my sisters was simply bliss.  There is nothing nicer than being driven and just sitting and watching the world go by.

With Z at the Festival

Z Budapest’s festival was both a joy and a challenge.  There was much joy in meeting new sisters,  being in the magnificent redwoods, getting to know Z a little better and seeing how she works, meeting the magnificent Bobbie,  who reminds me so much of my own DJ(Debbie) in the way she cares for Z and supports her so tirelessly and good naturedly, meeting 2 women who I know will be deep and lasting friends, and sharing my music/work with sisters who had never heard of me before and were joyous at their discovery.  There was a moment when I stood face to face with a large bird on a low hanging branch and shared beautiful energy as I quietly hummed deep in my throat and she responded….. cooing like a dove,  and the moment when I was teaching in the music shell, talking about the Mother and Her presence anywhere and everywhere we gather,  when suddenly  the women called out in delight as a mother deer and her two fawns walked behind me across the clearing.  Such magic!

The challenge lay in the location more than anything else.  It was tough for me to walk on uneven ground and also sloping ground in order to do anything from going to the loo to going to the dining room and of course going to the rituals.  Thank the Goddess Ava and her car were there to support me.  Sharing “home/sleeping” space with 9 other women in a small space was also tough for me.  Energetically,  I felt suffocated and could not sleep well.  Also, just before sleep is the time when I journal and process the day,  so I felt disconnected from myself some of the time and there was no space set aside as a Temple where women could go to just “be” in comfort, where perhaps soft music could be played and comfortable chairs were set out for the Crones.  I realise that I have pretty specific needs,  and that many women do not.  So all in all it was a wonderful experience.

My first view of the beautiful Agean Sea

The journey from the US to Crete was deeply magical.  The Goddess was with me and I had an empty seat beside me all the way to Athens.  I was able to reconnect with the life stories of all the women registered and found that even though I had read them all before,  certain things became “in focus” and I found I had riches of experience and beauty within the women I had not noted before.  The age range was from 38 right through to 65,  with all elements well represented,  and a harmony and balance I could not have picked out for myself any better.  Each woman brought with her a gift,  be it the love of dance, or the love of quilting, or the healing arts of herbs, or the art of photography, or the humour of Baubo and each offered her gifts to the rest of us just at the right time! 

The Heraklion Museum was the first stop – what a treasure trove of Goddess sacred art

Crete held us warmly,  and had Her own intentions as to where and what we would do there.  For example, on one of the days we had a very full itinerary with two caves and a tomb to visit.  Inexplicably,  we could not find the tomb or the second cave.  Instead we found a magical space in the middle of nowhere, with a beautiful amphitheatre and a shady place with a table and benches, where we crafted a wondrous ritual of spinning our intentions by pulling threads from our prayer shawls and weaving a web of threads.  Ulrike, one of the sisters began a soft shamanic drum beat,  and Laura,  began to vocalize and soon all of us were gently singing and weaving.  I can tell you that I had shivers as I contemplated that women had been doing just this – probably in this very spot – since time out of mind.  The tour was filled with such magical experiences and all of us experienced a joy that shall be with us for a long time.

Our last stop was Malia – the most powerful women's site in Crete

From Crete, I journeyed to Madrid in Spain.  I had been looking forward to setting my feet on Spain’s soil, as it had been a wish and prayer of mine for some years to go there.  I feel that with my ancestry in Egypt,  I have some Spanish and also some Moroccan blood somewhere in my veins. I also was very aware that Spain is a deeply Catholic country,  and that a Goddess Conference would stir the cauldron in many ways…..perhaps not all good.  I had traveled with my friend Tricia from Greece,  and as we both walked through the arrival gates, there were the Spanish Priestesses with signs with my name on them!  Such joy,  as Jana de Madrid, the actual visionary and weaver of the Conference had decided to come and meet us.  She is a remarkable young woman, whose positive energy gathered an enthusiastic and capable team around her to bring this vision of a Goddess Conference in Spain to ground.  Held in the very centre of Madrid,  in a “wood” with what I would call a “scout centre” in the middle of it,  the location was beautiful. Surrounded by trees and green, it was a pleasure to have this gentle interface after being in the wild, raw energy of Crete.

From my concert in Spain

The Conference was amazing…..packed with gorgeous ceremonies and beautiful workshops.  The Conference opened on the first afternoon with introductions and a small ceremony, then in the evening my full show “From Diva to Devotion” on the first night and rolled on in glorious display from then on.  It was poignant indeed to hear the passion (the English speaking group which included Kathy Jones, Vicki Noble, Starhawk and myself were given an interpreter) of the Priestesses as they invoked the Goddess, probably for the first time in thousands of years, in that place.  My heart filled with gratitude and my eyes spilled over as I gave a silent prayer of thankfulness that I was alive to witness and be part this herstoric Conference.  I shall never forget the feeling when the sisters named the Goddess in Spain as “IBERIA”…..that was the name of the ship which took me from my land of birth – Egypt in 1956,  to Australia, where my destiny would lead me to understand my purpose this Life.  I was 9 years old at the time,  a magical number of completion, as I do feel that this time was my last incarnation in Egypt after many lifetimes there. So hearing the word IBERIA as the name of Goddess,  made me realise that the Goddess had been in my heart and on my shoulder at least since I was nine.

The Conference was a delight of connecting deeply with sisters I knew and meeting many wondrous new sisters.  At my workshop on Kuan Yin,  the room was packed and I realised that a whole new vibration was/is permeating my work.  The essence of the heart energy,  which has always been there in my singing, is now transmitting powerfully through my teachings.  The long and devotional relationship I have had with Kuan Yin is now unfolding in the most amazing and transformational way.  One of the women in Spain told me that as she watched me present the work,  I actually began to look like Kuan Yin.  She said by the end of the workshop,  I had transfigured completely including the clothing and jewelry usually associated with Kuan Yin.  This was truly incredible,  as I felt something happen in the workshop,  it was as if I was on the ceiling looking down at Kuan Yin teaching!!!!  What a miracle this Life is.

From Spain I traveled to London to spend a couple of nights with my dear friend Jennifer Cooper before going on to Glastonbury. 

Wonderful Jennifer

Jennifer is a remarkable woman,  loving and true to the n’th degree and my warrior in England.  She meets me at the airport,  takes me home and makes sure I am comfortable and that I get the rest I am craving by the time I get to my little sanctuary in her home.  Her big gentle giant of a husband Chris, is sweet and sensitive and gives us space to connect deeply. Then,  we pack the car,  make sure we have plenty of all we need for the journey and off we go to Glastonbury.  How I love the English countryside….there is nothing like it.  And the quaint little houses with the thatched roofs,  the hanging baskets with petunias and the rolling meadows are a balm to my soul.   I went to Glastonbury to meet with Kathy Jones about her tour to Australia in 2011 which I am producing,  and also to teach a 2 day “Chanting the Chakras” retreat and also do a small concert.  I love Glastonbury,  and it was so nice to stroll through the town without the masses of people who come for the Goddess Conference.  I had the opportunity to look in Real Estate Agents windows and see how possible my dream to live there for a time is. Happily,  it is very possible,  as rents in Glastonbury are far lower than rents here in Australia,  so the income from my home here will well and truly cover the rent for a comparable home in Glastonbury.  So I was very pleased about that.

Wonderful Mel

The young woman who had organised my visit, Mel Chambers, is an inspiration…her skill in organizing and her devotion to my work was a gift.  The sisters who participated were genuinely dedicated to their own transformation and the work was good and deep.  I filmed the whole workshop and will have the work transcribed for my book on the chakras.  It was also a delight to be able to attend Georgina Sirrett-Hardie’s house warming.  She and her lovely partner Paul moved from a tiny flat into a spacious and beautiful farmhouse just on the fringe of Glastonbury.  The house was packed to the rafters with all the faces I knew from the Conference and it was a joy to be in community.  Unfortunately,  I caught a bad cold going home and had to stay in bed a day or so later.  But this was also destiny,  as it gave me an opportunity to get to know Shoshona and Tony better.  These wonderful people had invited me to come to dinner a few nights after the party,  but I was so unwell that at the last minute I had to call to say I was really ill and that I would stay in bed.  Dear Shoshona,  made me special food,  packed it up and sent it with Tony to the B&B where I was staying.  He had a been a nurse and he advised me that I had a temperature and he had brought with him special medication to help lower the fever!  The loving kindness of these dear friends was amazing to me,  and I shall never forget it.

Soon, it was time to begin the long journey home.  This time,  I was kind to myself and organised a 2 day stopover in Singapore before arriving in Sydney.  This was a very good decision,  as I was really able to sleep for almost the whole time, but I did take a walk to the famous shopping area of Singapore just to have a look. Singapore is an interesting mix of very new and modern building, with some older more European buildings.  I loved the drive from the airport into town,  with the beautiful rain trees and the tropical vegetation…just gorgeous.  Officially it was Autumn yet the humidity was very high and I wondered what it must be like in Summer!!!!!

My darling DJ came to meet me at the airport,  and our journey home – a 2 and a half hour drive was  a great way to reconnect and share what had been happening at home while I was away.  I knew that I would only have one night at home and then we would be off to the Australian Goddess Conference.  So I kept myself in “tour mode” and kept the energy up for just a little longer. 

Two of the masks I made for the Opening of the Circle – one in the foreground Earth and one in the background Great Mother

The Australian Goddess Conference is like home to me.  The community is a loving and warm embrace,  where the work I do and the music I share is welcomed with such appreciation and joy!  This year I decided that on Concert night I would show my “jazz diva” side only……something I usually don’t do in Australia,  as time is usually pressing and I want to share my devotional music.  But this year I had a high profile with my presentation on one day.,  sitting on a panel another day,  leading the Opening of the Circle on Ritual Night and also singing at 2 of the ceremonies.  So I allowed my jazz diva to blossom, wearing my glitz and glamour and strutting my stuff,  and the women loved it!  I also invited a young woman I am mentoring, Pia,  to join me on stage and we sang two songs together…it was magical – the Maiden and the Crone!   Debbie and I love this time away to really reconnect and we shared many hours talking and cuddling and enjoying each other.

Now,  I am finally home, and almost completely back in my body and thinking about what else the Goddess has in store for me.  Right now I am concentrating on getting my book out, and I hope I will have it for Glastonbury next year.  I’m also working on my next CD honoring Kali.  This is very exciting as well as a little daunting.  No need to say more I am sure you know what I mean.

So dear friends,  what started as a short note to catch up with you has become a blog!!!  Loving you, honoring our connection and so looking forward to seeing some of you again soon.

Love,

Anique

My partner Debbie would be surprised to read this.  She knows that I usually have a deep aversion to cold.  I have a drawer full of furry (fake of course) hats and also many warm scarves, which have lain lonely and dormant for the past 10 years at least.  So there is something in me that must yearn for the cold,  because I just cant resist a good beanie when I see one, or a beautiful scarf either.  

I remember one year when I was in Chicago during winter and it was blowing a blizzard.  I was staying with a friend who lived close to downtown, and I had seen on the TV that there was a sale of music at a large store the next day.  I decided I would go out and brave the cold.  My friend told me that a blizzard had been predicted,  and to be careful.  The next day dawned and I looked out the window.  Yes,  it was snowing,  but it didn’t look that bad…….I determined that I could brave the short walk to the train and all would be well. 

Searching through the many coats on the rack in the hallway….I had come from deep summer in Australia and my friend had advised me not to worry about packing coats etc….we were about the same size and she would meet me at the airport with a warm wooly.  So,  I searched the rack and I found a perfect coat – fur (fake of course) lined and quite long so that most of my body would be protected by my clothes and the coat.  I chose a fur (ok..enough) lined hat and some warm gloves and off I went. 

Outside, the wind was quite brisk,  but not so bad either.  The snow was beautiful,  big flakes fell on my gloved hand as I held it out,  and one very large one fell perfectly flat on my palm and before it melted, I saw the perfect crystalline shape. I felt a surge of love and awe for the Goddess in all Her amazing manifestations – including the snow flake. I was almost to the station when I realised that the hairs in my nose had frozen. I felt these strange pin pricks inside my nose,  and as I had these great gloves on,  I left it alone and thought to myself, once I am on the warm train,  I will take off my gloves and check it out.  On I went,  bought my ticket…there was no one else in line….and headed to the train.  The platform was also very sparsely populated with other stalwart travelers. 

Once on board, I found a seat easily,  and settled in for the 15 minute ride.  I took off my glove and reached to my nose.  You can imagine my horror when I touched the side of my nose and felt a piercing pain. I hurriedly took my little make up mirror out of my purse and looked at my nose.  It was bright red, and the hairs had frozen solid.  When I touched my nose,  the icicles way inside pricked me and my nose started to feel as if it was made of cement.  I realised that in fact, some of my nose tissue had frozen as well,  and I had horrific images of my nose falling off from frostbite!!

 Just as I was thinking the worst,  my nose began to thaw and run towards my lips…ugh! I searched for the ever present tissue on my pocket and dabbed at the unsightly mess.  Ouch…..too hard… a little more gently please!  Softly,  I held the tissue tenderly to my nose as the ice melted and I began to feel a dull ache around my nose area.  My eyes started to water and I felt totally dejected.  What had started as a bright, adventurous day was quickly turning into a nightmare.  However,  my stop was at hand so I headed for the exit. 

Once outside again,  I wrapped my scarf around  my face to keep the wind from my  already sore nose.  I must have looked like a Bedouin in a strange snowy desert.  Scarf tucked into my hat,  with only my eyes peeking out….and walked the block or so from the station to the store.  I was not enjoying myself so much anymore.  The wind was really blowing now,  and I had to push a little to walk.  I was so grateful to get inside the store,  take off my coat and gloves and head straight for the ladies room.  Once there I surveyed the damage.  Big red nose,  streaming eyes,  lips quite a strange colour and face pink from all my efforts.  Not a good look. 

I decided to make my purchases and head back to the safety of my friend’s home as soon as possible.  I headed for the music department and found some great bargains…..in fact I spent quite a bit of time there.  By that time I was quite hungry and decided that I would have lunch in the gorgeous little café inside the store.  Time for a big mug of hot chocolate I thought.  Sitting with a steaming mug of chocolate and a particularly lovely pork pie – I remember thinking it strange to find a pork pie in Chicago,  but go figure, and then I realised that I was the only customer in the café,  and that there had been very very few people in the store. 

Calling the waiter over, I asked why there were so few people in the store today? 

Without missing a beat,  he answered

“Only the mad and the desperate go out in a blizzard”. 

I looked at him very sternly and said

“I am neither mad or desperate”  to which he answered 

“You could have fooled me. Lady,  its blowing a blizzard out there,  what are you doing out?”  I answered

“But I thought if there was a blizzard,  you would not be able to see in front of you and there would have been an alert out…. wouldn’t there?”

“There was…it has been on the news….and any rate, there are degrees…you are lucky this one is not too bad.  But its gonna get worse by tonight so you better get home”. 

Now any of you who know me, know I hate watching/listening to the news.  Gloom and doom – which is all one gets  -  is not my choice in the world.  True,  it goes on but I don’t have to feed my ego with it.  So I had no idea,  other than my friend’s warning..  which by the way I totally ignored….what was I going to do?  My nose was still sore,  my eyes had only just recovered, and I had to go out in that again?  I called my friend.  She was totally incredulous that I had gone out.  She practically jumped down the phone in telling me off.  She told me to wait right there and she would come and get me in her massive jeep with big butch chains on the wheels, (a very good butch she was) and that I was to wait just inside the big front doors until I saw her pull up and then to run into her rescuing arms.  Part of me felt like a dammed fool  but another part of me did get into the adventure of it all.  I can play a great damsel in distress! 

Anyway……all this to tell you that I am not very savvy in the cold. 

So today,  as there is no blizzard here,  I shall put on my beanie,  and my jacket,  and go out to visit th travel agent and firm up the flights for my tour in August/Spt/Oct.  I must say,  I do appreciate the fact that we don’t have snow here in the Hunter Valley of New South Wales,  I don’t think snow and I go together very well! 

Have a blessed day,  and remember that Winter is part of the Cycle of Life,  and much as we may want to avoid Her,  eventually we have to experience Her in Her full beauty.  At our Winter Solstice Ritual the other night,  I gave thanks for the beauty of the four seasons,  and the deepening that winter energy brings.  Its good to feel Her cold beauty and know that I am alive.  I’m glad that this year,  I will be here to experience Winter in all Her wondrous and challenging manifestations,  and again understand that I Am All. 

I love you 

PRAYER FOR TODAY 

Goddess

I give you thanks for the speedy things

Comets

Lightning

The swoop of a hawk

My foot on the brake

The moment of change when understanding shifts

And I stand in new relation to myself and my life

And I give you thanks for steady things:

The roll of the seasons

The curve of waves

The subtle colours of rainbows

The patterns of stars

And the so-un-noticed thread of

Night and day and night that guides my life

In rest and renewal

Dream and action

For all things speedy and steady

Blessed Be!

Cass Arnold

It is a lovely, sunny, cold day here in Maitland and I feel blessed to be alive.  I sat outside with Rosie on my lap….rugged up in my dressing gown and my big wooly cardie,  with a beanie on my head and felt so at peace.  And so grateful for my life and how Goddess has helped me to manifest such a blissful and rich existence. 

It amazes me how we can wake up feeling so different from day to day.  Now yesterday,  I woke with a vague feeling of anxiety,  thinking – and I stress thinking – that I needed to be doing more to make all my dreams come true.  Surely I needed to work on my handout for the pilgrimage to Crete that will unfold in only 3 months now.  Surely I needed to paint my masks that will be needed for the Australian Goddess Conference in October.  Why was I not writing the proposal for the huge Women of Wisdom Conference that I am applying for, which will mean that my work, my music and my passion will be shared with hundreds…yes hundreds of women next February?  And what about my book…..my chakra book….which tantalizes me constantly yet seems such a huge task that I cant seem to get past the 1st chakra?

I’m sure you know what I am talking about.  That project must be tantalizing you too,  and as much as you want to “get to it” somehow there is always something else to do and be and go to etc….blah…blah…blah…..  And of course there is nothing wrong with that either.  LIFE unfolds as it needs to and there are no wrongs or rights, as we well know. 

That was yesterday.  And here we are today and I feel completely differently.  Here I am at my computer, writing to you.  I have already had my breakfast, spent some quality time with Debbie and Mum,  and feel peaceful, focused and inspired.  Soon,  I will have my shower, put on some old clothes and immerse myself in creative expression and begin to paint my first mask.

I wonder at times like this,  why I still fall into the trap of feeling less than completely blissful….like I did yesterday.  Yes,  I know that it is my ego,  which for some reason I have yet to fathom, rises up and demands attention.  But why does it do this?  I don’t remember in all I have read if there is an explanation as to why?  There is a lot written about how it happens,  and what we can do to shift back into peace and bliss,  but as yet,  I don’t really have an understanding as to why it happens. Particularly when I am so aware of the process.

Intellectually,  I know that it is all the conditioning I have absorbed about what makes for a “good”  life/person/existence/morality and so on in the world we live in.  And often,  what we are taught is “good” may well only be good for the system we live in.  For example,  we are taught that it is “good” and polite and attractive to eat with a knife and fork.  Whereas in India and other places,  it is the height of “goodness” to eat with our hand – yes one hand – because the other is used for unmentionable things. We are taught that a “good” life is to wake up in the morning and rush off to work to earn a good living and provide for our families and at the end of the day sit down in front of the telly and relax.  But that is not so for a yogi who lives in Tibet, or a medicine woman in  Africa,  or a Zen monk in Japan, who knows that his/her “good work” is to sit and meditate for the whole of humanity as well as herself and that is leading a “good” life.  We may well think that is downright lazy in our world….but is it?

What really motivates me/us to “do”?  What is really at the bottom of it all?  If we just sat and meditated in our world what would happen?  Would we die?  No.  Would we become ill? No…more than likely we would heal much of what is not as healthy as it could be within us physically and mentally and emotionally, not to mention Spiritually.  Would we stop keeping clean? No.  Would we stop eating well…no…and we probably would be more in touch with our bodies and eat better.  Would we survive financially?  That is a ticklish issue.  Here in Australia,  we probably could because we have such a great social services system that would support us (albeit not too expansively) so that at least we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies.  In other parts of the world, like the US that is not so clear.  But ways can be found.  And how about our contribution to the world?  Yes…if we meditated for ourselves and the whole of humanity,  then we are contributing.  But there is the rub.  Would we be seen as contributing?

It really is all about what the “norm” happens to be in our world isn’t it?  In our western patriarchal model,  we must “be seen” to be contributing in some way, which “fits” the expectations of the culture,  to feel good about ourselves.  We may well get up each day, in our own homes,  eat a small bowl of rice,  drink some pure water from our water filter, complete our ablutions and then sit and meditate all day.  Would I feel OK doing that?  I wonder.  Thinking about living just with Debbie and Mum and our furry children, in my own home,  doing just that,  does not feel comfortable.  The world still intrudes and distracts me into thinking about other things I might be doing. Perhaps it might feel better if I were to live on my own,  so that the TV would never be switched on (if indeed I owned a TV) and where I did not have to go shopping and be exposed to all that stimulation of desires which are not acceptable to one who simply lives to meditate. My daily food would be left at the door by a well meaning devotee, who realised the critically important work I was doing for the planet, and loved serving me for it. But that does not feel good either. Why is that?

At the ripe old age of 62, I have to acknowledge that I have been well and truly indoctrinated into the ways of the dominant culture – a western patriarchy.  And within that paradigm, unless we are contributing to the world by being visibly employed and making money to consume goods in order that more people may be employed and make money so that the economy can stay stable and then I may continue working to make more money and be respectable and buy more stuff……arrrghhh!!!!  It is so hideous!  In moments like this when I stop to think about it,  I wonder how can we, as a people, feel happy with this ridiculous merry-go-round.  Why aren’t more people saying “What is this?  This is insane!” And of course, when I wake up in the morning and feel that anxiety I wrote about above – that pressure I put on myself to “do” – that is what is operating.  And well as I may know about the mechanics of it,  the conditioning goes so deep,  that I still fall into the trap of those cultural expectations.  Then I am hard on myself,  and feel the joy seeping out of my world and the potential for a depressing day looms large.

The antidote is so simple for me.  Thank the Goddess, these days it does not take me long to understand what is operating and I take steps that I know will work to shift out of that space.  I immediately go to my favourite altar – I have 5 in my home -- and light a candle and offer gratitude for my life.  I list – out loud – all the wonderful things in my world;  people, things, places, experiences and anything else I can bring forth in that moment that brings me joy in my life.  I say them,  out loud,  and each time I say something new I bring my hands together in prayer and bow to the gorgeous sculpture of Kuan Yin – the Goddess who watches over me.  I know deep in my soul that each time I bow,  I am bowing to my Higher Self and after a while,  it really seeps through my consciousness and I Am in another dimension altogether.  It seems ridiculously simple does it not?  Yet it is powerful.  The lighting of a candle touches archetypal memories in our brains and we immediately tap into the global consciousness which relates to that  act or idea.  We tap into the power of the flame as it has been used since time out of mind to connect with Spirit, Goddess, our ancestors and our conscious I AM. In saying “I am grateful for………………”  a number of times whilst connected to my quiet centre, fills me with a bliss and joy I could never explain.  The very act of gratitude brings with it a calm power that is indescribable unless you have experienced it for yourself.  Try it….you may just surprise yourself.

So it dawns on me that the old saying “Be in the world but not of the world” means what I have been talking about above.  We have to be in this world,  but we do not have to support its values if we do not agree with them.  We can live well but not buy into the daily “nine to five” grind that wears our spirits down; we can contribute in our own ways, knowing that a loving heart is the greatest contribution anyone can make; and we can choose joy in every moment, trusting that if things are hard, they could be worse.  And we can always question why we think or act in ways that we know do not serve us well.  Almost always, the answer will be that we have been taught to do whatever it is in order that the culture may control us.  And you know the best way to make God laugh don’t you?  Just tell Her you are in control!

I love you.

PRAYER FOR TODAY

Beloved Goddess

I thank you for everything in my life

Thank you for the roses and thorns

The garden and the ticks

The cat and the fleas

The wetlands and the mosquitoes.

Bring me an awareness of the balance

And the flux of living

And open my heart to Your great love

And divine gratitude

Blessed Be.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYEpWfAgO6c

DUCKS OF LA

Imagine my surprise a few days ago,  when I woke up to my son’s “good morning”  a happy greeting which I love to hear each morning when I stay at his apartment in LA.  He is so sweet, because he and his partner Victoria live in separate apartments in the same block of flats as we call them in Australia,  and when I visit,  he stays with Victoria and I have his apartment to myself.  Such luxury!!  So anyway,  this morning,  Marc had an excited look on his face as he  was framed in my doorway…  “Come and look mum”……..I walked over and looked in the direction he was pointing and lo and behold…..there were two ducks in the swimming pool!!!!!    Now in my world of the Goddess,  the bird, particularly the duck is very special.  For example,  birds appear in many cultures’ creation myths as earth divers. An earth diver is an animal that plunged to the bottom of the primeval sea and brought up mud from which the earth was formed. Legends of the Buriat and Samoyed people of Siberia feature birds as earth divers. Water birds such as ducks or swans play this role in the creation myths of many Native American peoples, including the Mandan of North Dakota. A Navajo myth about a great flood tells that the people fled to an upper world, leaving everything behind. The bird Turkey then dived into the lower world to rescue seeds so that the people could grow food crops. 

Under certain conditions, the living could be transformed into birds. In some cultures, it was believed that shamans, priests, and prophets could change themselves into birds during trances or other mystical states. Such ideas were found in Siberia and Indonesia. In Celtic mythology, both deities and the sly supernatural beings called fairies or fays were said to have the power to transform themselves into birds.

Ducks were important solar symbols in early Celtic culture. In art recovered from Urnfield deposits (dated at approximately 1300 BC), ducks are frequently shown flanking a solar wheel or flanking the prow and stern of a boat which carries the disc of the sun. The solar symbolism was carried over into the La Tene period (beginning in the early 5th century BC) where it is found on torcs (bracelet or arm band) and other artwork. The Continental goddess of the Seine River, Sequana, has been found to be depicted as standing in a boat in the form of a duck. The duck has a cake in its mouth which may represent fertility or sacrifice.

But quite apart from this lofty aspect of ducks,  I also have fond memories of my childhood stories of Mrs. Muddle Puddle,  the beloved duck of the Golden Book series for children.  And lets not forget the ugly duckling who became the fabulous swan!   So all this was triggered as I gazed in wonder at the two ducks serenely floating in the pool,  in LA,  on a sunny sunny day.  I also understood deep in my heart,  that the Goddess had welcomed me to LA.  The ducks in the pool were a symbol for me that She who is all was with me always…no matter where I am – She is. 

So next time you see a duck,  stop and say  hello………..you never know….you may be talking to a Goddess. 

I love you. 

PRAYER FOR THE DAY 

Great Goddess,

Give us wild spaces inside.

Give us forests and hills to walk in,

Waterfalls and seas to bathe in,

The sun and fire to warm us

And the great winds of your inspiration

Howling unstoppably through our hearts

And lives.

Blessed Be!

Cass Arnold

Just outside my motel when I first arrived

The Colors of LA 

So, here I am in LA…….at last!   The waiting has been intense…and so has the trepidation.  First time putting mum in respite care.  Its hard to let go of my Jewish guilt,  and even though I know its for her good and for mine,  I still felt so guilty dropping her off at the respite centre. 

Don’t get me wrong,  it’s a lovely place,  and there are lots of other elderly people there and there are activities each day and the staff are lovely – but its not home and my mum loves our home.  The more I take care of her the more I understand myself.  What a gift.  I have to admit AT TIMES IT IS REALLY HARD  and I have to remind myself that this was my choice.  What makes it hard is that mum has absolutely no recall of what happened 10 minutes ago,  so telling her anything about her day or what is going to happen at any stage in the future (or the past for that matter) is futile.  Nevertheless,  I have been told that people with dementia can lay down new memory “tracks” and that repeated information or activities will eventually become part of their reality. 

So I have been telling her over and over again for the last month that I would be going overseas for a month and that she would be going to the “centre” while I am away.  In the moment,  she was very understanding that she could not stay home alone all day and she told me categorically (in the moment) that I should live my life and that she did not want to be a burden. 

Fast forward to the morning when Debbie and I had to drop her off at the centre…..total confusion.  It was so hard.  She becomes so hard, protected and withdrawn when she feels threatened….and I did not have the time or strength to go through the usual half day routine of stabilizing her.  The staff were marvelous, they told me to just go and to remember that in 10 minutes she would forget and be involved in the activities of the day.  But I can tell you dear readers,  I cried for a few hours on the plane,  and eventually I let go and began to get excited. 

I love LA,  I love the light and the feel of the desert.  I also resonate with the energy of years gone by….those halcyon days of Hollywood.  Marc, my son lives very close to the centre of Hollywood,  and so there are lots of old buildings, gorgeous art deco beings who stand proud even though they need a coat of paint here and there.  I love the funky little houses and the typically manicured LA gardens that you just don’t see anywhere else in the world.  The bougainvillea here is outstanding….the colors defy the most vivid imagination and the “pom pom” trees are unique. 

I love the many colored faces on the streets….people from all nations and socio economic strata,  and girls with long long nails and snappy hair cuts. I love the cheap roses – $10 a big bunch with long stems – the huge supermarkets where household goods are ridiculously cheap. No wonder, with a huge population things are cheap.  In Australia – with our population just the size of LA – everything is expensive.  But here you can buy a hair dryer for $5!!!!!!!!!  I love the daily farmers markets where you can buy fresh organically grown produce and beautiful fresh humus and olives and cheese and so much more, accompanied by jazz from musicians (buskers)  that could be found in a trendy nightclub. 

Marc

But most of all, I love being with my son.  What a treasure he is.  Sweet, strong, considerate, intelligent (check out his blog)   http://magactorstriad.blogspot.com/  and he knows how to love a woman.  His partner….the delightful Victoria,  tells me that he is unique compared to all the men she knows and I believe her. 

Victoria and Marc

 Marc trod the hard road of being my son when I went through my peak feminist years and at times it was tough for him.  But it made him open to ideas many men don’t even think about and for that I know he is grateful, and I am grateful for his forgiving heart. 

So dear readers,  I will keep you posted.  This weekend – 8 May – I will be singing at the Orange County Goddess Temple. What a joy! 

I love you.

TODAY’S PRAYER

Great Goddess of the Universe

Be with me on my journey,

Ground me in your power

in your wisdom.

Fill me with your courage,

Bring me home to myself.

Oh….mighty Goddess of the Universe,

I invoke you…

I invoke you…

I invoke you…

Your power and your Majesty.

Fill me with your grace and your beauty,

Bring me home mother

To your calm understanding,

Urge me to serve

To fulfill my destiny.

Allow me to know

That all is well,

All is exactly as it should be.

All is….

Just is.

Great Goddess of the Universe,

I invoke you into my life…

My being…

And in you

I rest.

I am.

Blessed Be      Anique Radiant Heart – Winter 2009

Brighid making the altar

The day was gorgeous,  not too hot and not too cold….just perfect.   Brighid,  my dear student and friend from Holland,  a Priestess in her own right,  had come to visit with me, so I asked her to make the altar for the day. 

Rattle Tradition Altar

 I love how she incorporated the Sacred Elements and also the elements  of the grain and pulses that we use inside the rattles that we make.  She also added a tiny gourd to honour the tradition of Gourd Priestesses,  who,  since time out of mind dedicated themselves to making sacred tools out of the humble gourd,  and everyday vessels for the whole community. 

Right on time,  the sisters stated arriving.  This was a precious moment for me….this was the first workshop I facilitated in our new Temple.  I always start my training/teaching work in a new Temple, with the honoring of the sacred tools by facilitating a Sacred Rattle making workshop.  By doing this,  I ground the energy of the Temple as place of worship, place of community, place of governance and place of service to the community.  It sets my intention to share our home, which is my Temple, as a place of worship for all.

Mum blesses me with her presence

 

My mother at the head of the table. It was so beautiful for me, for the first time ever, to have my mother present at a workshop and blessing me with her presence. She, in her dementia world, was so present,  enjoying the women as they worked and in total joy in the present moment.  She was a model of quiet enjoyment.

90 years old – amazing

The sisters worked well and we held the silence and grace as we worked to place our intention into our rattles.  In facilitating a workshop to create a sacred tool,  I insist on silence and dedication to intention during specific processes.  Otherwise,  we are making a lovely artwork – but not a sacred tool.  The silence, and the connection to Mystery in that silence, is so critical to our journey as sacred beings.  In observing how we feel and what flows through our minds when we hold the silence with intention, we can learn so much about ourselves and also open dusty corridors in our archetypal memories.

Maiden and Mother and soon to be Crone

By the end of the day,  we had created some gorgeous rattles.  I cannot show them here as it is not appropriate,  however,  if you are really keen to see the finished work, let me know and I will ask each sister if I may have a picture of her new Sacred Rattle. 

How rich life can be when we live in the ancient way of women.  Even when we have to live in the patriarchy,  and venture out into the so called “real” world to earn our living,  look after our children,  visit a medicine person or buy our food,  we can still create a space in our homes where for just 10 minutes a day we can connect with those ancient/present energies.  It is critical to our mental health my sisters and brothers,  and so important if we are to rebirth the Goddess as the world around us.  

I love you. 

PRAYER FOR THE DAY 

Great Goddess

We are all part of you

Just as every creature, plant and rock is too.

But as humans we have more ability

And more responsibility.

Imagine a world

Where every woman and girl

Is seen as an expression of your being,

And every man and boy as expression

Of the god-consort

And all of nature is holy and sacred.

Imagine how that would change how we live…

Goddess, make me all and part of

Birthing that world now

And give us the courage to hold that vision steady

And will its blessing in the future.

Blessed Be.

Cass Arnold

Ancient South American Deity Tlazolteol

COMING HOME……….AND LEAVING AGAIN 

It’s been a week since I returned from Melbourne and the Goddess gathering…..and what a week it was. 

40 women flowed in and out of the sacred space we created over the weekend, each with her own particular story and agenda for being there.  We tackled some thorny questions:

Do we say “Goddess”  or  “The Goddess”,  and what does it mean anyway to name the Divine?  Do we continue to challenge a hierarchy within our Goddess community, or do we acknowledge that some have more experience and therefore may have a stronger vibration that attracts us?   Do we want to “promote” ourselves actively in the world or do we do it in a more organic way?  These are just some of the questions I indulged in deep conversation with others whilst I was in community and that was outside the formal structure of the weekend.  If you would like to know what the actual program was go to http://www.gaiasgarden.com.au/  

For me,  the most profound awareness was that no matter what language we used,  we were all really talking about the same thing.  Our devotion to something which is a Mystery,  and cannot be named or contained in any way at all.  And within that awareness came the understanding that we all have different ways of “doing” devotion and that for some of us that takes the form of a daily spiritual practice and for others it means to organise at a political level.  They are not mutually exclusive at all.  Yet I have heard some very prominent feminists state that Goddess Spirituality is “watering down” the feminist critique of how we live in this world.  I beg to differ. 

In the halcyon days of feminism in the seventies,  I was just coming out as a lesbian and a feminist – all in the same glorious moment when I was kissed by a girl for the first time. There was no going back I have to say. Yet in that same moment, I was kissed by the Goddess too, because I found the luminous work of Monica Sjoo…staunch feminist and Goddess artist who rocked the establishment in Britain with her controversial painting of God as a Woman Giving Birth.  Her illuminated writing and deconstruction of patriarchal religion was fascinating to me.  Imagine me,  a married “lady” from the north shore upper middle class suburbs of Sydney reading that all life for the first 6 weeks after conception was female!  That rocked my world for some reason and led to my self education on all things feminist and Goddess.  It shocked me that as an educated woman, this fact was never taught to me in school,  and it was the perfect example of how women’s work, women’s herstory and information which is vital to women had been edited out of my life ( and most other women’s). 

From that moment I dedicated myself to finding out everything I could about the ancient matrifocal cultures who revered the Feminine Divine.  It was rich compost to grow my emerging passion for overcoming the patriarchal conditioning of my youth and maturing as a woman and I was keen to share it with other women too. 

So this gathering re-energised my passion for sharing information which is critical to women’s well being and might I dare to say women’s mental health.  There is so  much information about the power and beauty of women and how we have shaped the world that women are never exposed to in so called “normal education”.  If you are intrigued go to Max Dashu’s incredible site   http://www.suppressedhistories.net/  and see for yourself. 

And now I am preparing for my pilgrimage to the US,  to see my sons and to share my work with Goddess women there.  This is a sacred process for me,  as intention is everything in my world.  I am working hard at keeping my intention pure and my ego well in check.  That is always hard for me because the “spotlight” falls easily upon me as I sing Her praises and I need to keep reminding myself that I am just the voice and She is the VOICE.  The Orange County Goddess Temple will be the first place in the world I share my new CD – I literally pick it up on my way to the airport in Sydney where I will break open the boxes and see my new “child” in all her splendour.  This CD is a celebration of Kuan Yin,  and I am very happy with it.  The cover art by Amalya is gorgeous and the musical genius of David Calaby inspired. 

So dear readers,  the next time I write will be from LA!  I am so grateful for the abundance that flows through my life that I may live the life I live and do the things I do. 

I love you. 

PRAYER FOR THE DAY 

Great Goddess

I repudiate the “trauma” view of life.

It sickens me,

Whatever I am,

Whatever my wounds or failings,

I am what I am,

And right now I will love and honour myself

Without the demand for change.

I will focus on my gifts and skills

And on what I have to offer,

Not on what I lack,

And I will give others the same freedom

To be whole.

Blessed Be.

Cass Arnold 

Allmother Oz

I’M OFF TO SEE THE GODDESS….THE WONDERFUL GODDESS OF OZ!!

Its not even 5am yet and here I am at my computer,  setting down my thoughts.  I’m excited,  that’s why I cant sleep.  I’m off to the Goddess Gathering today and I will see my sister community again and – this is big – Brighid from Holland is coming!

This is what I have been waiting for, someone else who will organise national Goddess events and gatherings other than myself or Gaia (Goddess Association in Australia) and Tricia Szirom of Gaia’s Garden is just the woman to do it!

These gatherings are so important……..at least they are for me.  We live in a vast land which is hard to navigate at the best if time.  Driving to another state is exhausting,  and the cost if flying in Australia is simply ridiculous.  In Europe,  you can “hop” from country to country for just a few euros.  Not here. Even the cheap flights are too expensive for most.  Nevertheless,  these gatherings are drawing women from all over Australia (and abroad!) and that tells me something – they are wanted and needed.

For me,  its about getting “juiced up” in a way that no other spiritual “milieu” can offer.  The coming together of women – and it is always mostly women…if not just women – with our particular way of “worshiping” together is so healing and restorative.  We do a lot of talking and sharing, and we are constantly trying to develop our women’s spiritual culture by encouraging others who have ideas or stories to share.  We are clear that we do not want a hierarchy,  yet we do acknowledge that we have “leaders” in the form of elders and wise women of our “tribe”.  This is important….I for one, have always wanted to know who the women are that have walked for longer than me on the path and might have a more informed point of view.  Its important to me to know those women who have spent many years in dedicated spiritual practice…because no matter what you may think of this or that practice, regular connection to the Divine does have an impact on one’s equilibrium.  And if nothing else,  that would surely have an impact on one’s ability to make informed, calm, positive choices.  That’s the kind of energy I want to be around.

So off I go today,  with a huge, open and happy heart, ready to share my ideas, music and my Self with my sisters in Goddess.  For me,  its like breathing….I cant live without it.

I love you

Anique

PRAYER FOR TODAY

GODDESS

Let me step out into a new world

Where I am your warrior and songstress

Your Priestess and champion

And give me all the power I can handle!

And Goddess, give me self respect

That encompasses so much

And without it

I am so poor!

BLESSED BE

Cass Arnold

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwnssNVIGgM

Bird Goddess Mask

Today I feel very joyous.  Its one of those rainy days, when it is a gift to be inside, dry and warm and with gorgeous creative work to do.  I have embarked on a project to make 5 masks for the Goddess Conference in October this year.  I am  making them out of gourds and by the time they are finished,  they will be “bird” faces…each one representing an Element/Direction and one for the Centre.  I am also going to make 5 Altars that can be demounted and carried in the car and then set up again at the venue.  I already have the old demountable altars from the Temple,  so I am only making new Altar Cloths, Altar surrounds and a Goddess for each one.  I will pack all my gorgeous things from the Temple to decorate them and to make them “live” in the Conference Space.

This is a mammoth task,  as I shall be away a good deal of the time between now and the Conference,  but hey,  I love a challenge.

So I am joyous to be creating and I am joyous with anticipation at the delight of the sisters who will join us this year for  an event which is now a tradition in the Goddess Community in Australia.

It’s made me ponder about joy.  For me,  the only thing we need to master here on this planet in this body in this LIFE is to be happy…..to be in our joy.  Have you ever stopped to think how much we “do” just to survive?  And how much joy is there in that for most people?  Not much.  The overwhelming majority of people,  just clock in and clock out everyday.  I did it for years and I was so tired and depleted by the time I got home each night that all I could manage was to eat and then sit in front of the telly all night until I feel asleep in my chair on many nights.  It got to the point where I was so “over it” that I just decided “That’s it”……”no more”.   I looked at my life and realised that if I simplified things,  I could stop working right there and then.  Of course it meant that I had to sell my house,  get rid of my debts,  and move out of the city.  A scary thought I can tell you….but the thought of being able to do anything…or indeed nothing at all…was so appealing that I took the steps necessary.

Seven years later,  I can tell you it was the right decision.   My lifestyle is very different,  and in many ways much better.  I do feel isolated some of the time, because most of my cultural and Spiritual connections are still in the city (Sydney). I certainly don’t have as much money to just spend on anything whimsical, but I have enough to live well and  overall,  I feel wonderful most of the time.  And some of the time I am absolutely euphoric with joy.

And that’s when the trouble starts sometimes.

But…I can hear you shout….you have just told us that being joyful is what we are here for!!!  And of course we are!  But there is also an element of recklessness that can slide in if we are not present in the moment.

For me, being in the moment is the strongest lesson we can learn.  Being in the moment is the conduit to almost everything of value in our LIVES.  Its by being in the moment that we can recognize the millions of opportunities for growth which will come our way in our lifetimes.  Its by being in the moment that we notice the small things,  like the look of love in a lovers eye, or the smile that a total stranger gives us on the street, or the amazing blue sky above our heads as we walk to the supermarket,  or the dog who winks at us as she passes us on her lead, or the hidden message in an email from a friend.  Being in the moment can surprise us if we stop to asses what we are feeling in any given moment,  or if we stop to ask ourselves what do we want to eat right now,  or who do we want to talk to right now…it’s the right now that we miss often.…..and I could go on and on……there are so many things we can miss if we are deep in thought about what we might so next week, or next year or even tonight.

When I am feeling really really good and joyful,  I can forget to pay attention to all these things but more importantly,  it can throw me off centre.  And that is the important thing here dear readers….to be totally, euphorically joyful, but still be centered.  Because it is only when we are centered that we can make good choices.  Even the response to a question,  if not responded to from a place of grounded centeredness,  can cause ripples in our lives that will flow out for miles and miles.  A hastily written loving email to a friend can cause the entirely opposite effect if our language is hastily yet joyfully chosen.  I had such an experience recently and I was shocked at the pain it caused another.

This caused me to think about how we manage our joy.  A tantalizing prospect to those of us who are closet control freaks.  Yet manage our joy we must.  Joy is energy,  just like anything else….it is powerful and has an effect on the whole Universe.  That is why it is good to send out joy and love, as long as it is conscious and “managed”.  By managed,  I mean considered and grounded.  Even joy which is “out of control” can have a detrimental effect upon the equilibrium of LIFE.  Too much of anything too quickly or too powerfully is just that….too much.  Balance is the key here.

Its important to be in the “right now” if we don’t feel so good either.  How many times have you felt bad when really there was nothing for you to feel bad about?  Or maybe you have been obsessing about something in the future or the past that is challenging for you. I have moments when I just feel bad,  and no amount of thinking about what has made me feel bad helps.  But what does help is to ask myself this question:  “Right now in this very moment what are your blessings in LIFE?”   And then it is easy to say  “I am healthy,  I have a roof over my head,  I have enough to eat,  I am safe,  I am loved,  I can pay my rent and I have this or that to look forward to”.  That’s it…finish….and sure enough I don’t feel bad any more.  Its magical…just try it.  And that is managing our sadness/pain too.  It’s important to manage our feelings.  The really sad thing is that we are not taught to do that for ourselves.  We are taught to go to a therapist (the-rapist)  and they help us manage our feelings….and that’s all they do folks,  you do all the work and they get paid outrageous amounts of money.  But we won’t go there because I have friends that I love deeply who are therapists.

So from today,  I have a deeper appreciation of being in the moment and managing my joy.  It feels good and it feels right.  And it has given me even more joy to understand myself and the Universe (which I AM) a little better.

I love you.

PRAYER FOR TODAY

Great Goddess

We are always looking for the conversion experience….

For the quick fix, the sudden change,

And a whole new instant self.

Teach us to listen instead

To the slow deep currents of the Soul

And to watch the elegant turning of

The mysteries of our lives.

Teach us to trust the empty places

That yawn between us and our dreams,

And be prepared to walk into the dark.

Cass Arnold