Anique’s Blog · May 2007

Women, rage and depression: is there a link?

Those who know me, will tell you that I’m usually a pretty jovial person. I live my life, focusing on the positive and doing what I know is good for me, and good for all. But there are times when I am aware of rage lying just beneath the surface, that informs my view of the world.

Yes, I am angry. I am very angry. In fact, I am furious.

I am furious about the deaths of 10,000 children every day from starvation when we have the resources and skills to feed them all. I am furious about the greed that motivates some to maximise private profit at the cost of poisoning the water, air and earth that nurtures us all. I am furious at the leaders who convince us to sacrifice our sons and daughters in wars launched in the name of freedom and democracy when they or their predecessors have begun this armed conflict to increase their own power or wealth.

As a woman, I am furious that I still cannot walk down the street at night without the fear of violent rape. I am furious that in many professions, I am not paid as much as my brother. I am furious that many of my diseases are relegated to the unimportant. I am furious that billions of dollars are spent on placing pieces of steel in the universe, rather than spending money on cancer research, one of the largest killers of women. I am furious that free, easily available, abortion is still illegal in many places on this planet, and that children are born unwanted, unloved and uncared for.

I could go on and on, but I feel that you get the picture.

In talking with other women about these feelings, I find that many of my sisters feel as I do. I go on to share with them that intuitively, I feel that the rage we feel at a deep level, which we repress in order to live our lives, is responsible for many of the ailments we experience, most particularly, depression. I feel the link between internalised rage and depression in women is there. I am firmly convinced that the many women in our community who are on antidepressants are actually "zoning out" to avoid dealing with their rage, a deep righteous rage over the condition of women generally, and their own personal situations brought on by the world we live in - a patriarchal world.

I know in my heart that if we lived in another way, women would not be so ill with debilitating depression and addiction. I feel one of the important tasks is to reaffirm our anger and rage as giving a message to us about what needs to be transformed in our world. And that also means transforming our rage into powerful action, because there is tremendous energy in rage.

It is well-known, and widely documented that men externalise their rage in the most inappropriate ways through uncontrolled rape, violence, destruction, and war. While we women, internalise our rage, and often cry and become deeply depressed. In New South Wales, where I live, a friend who works in the prison system tells me that there are over 3000 men in prison, whilst there are only 240 women in prison. Men are in prison primarily for crimes, which perpetrate violence. Women tend to be imprisoned for petty crimes, related to the need for money to support drug habits. And why are women addicted? My feeling is, to numb out the rage and associated pain they experience as women within a patriarchal system.

My heart aches when I read the statistics that over 60% of women in the developed world (whatever that means) are on antidepressant medication or using some form of drug - be it alcohol or recreational drugs. Whilst medication may enable women to live their lives, to go to work, to even play, and let us thank the heavens for that - medication does not solve the problem and wipes out the highs and the lows, which make life rich and meaningful. The life, death, life rhythm -- the constant flow between the good times, the not so good times, the absolutely fabulous times and the downright hideous times -- is what makes living life fully in the moment. We would find life unbearable, if we were constantly on a high, and of course we would not survive if we were always down at rock bottom. Suicide can sometimes be the only solution. It is grim indeed, to contemplate how many women might have been saved if they had understood their condition and sought out someone who might have suggested they deal with their rage with loving support from other women.

I wanted to talk with other women about the possibility of linking rage with depression. And I wanted to call it sacred rage, women’s righteous rage, a force, which if harnessed, could move mountains.

So I invited scholarly women who are doing research in this field to tell me the latest statistics, methodologies, ideologies, related to the link between rage and depression in women. I encouraged service deliverers such as counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and others working in the field to tell me what they feel might be solutions, based upon their daily experience of working with women who are depressed. I needed to hear from herbalists, homoeopaths, acupuncturists, and other non-medical professionals who might be able to offer solutions, other than antidepressant drugs.

I wanted to hear from artists -- musicians, painters, sculptors, crafts women, etc, who have experienced the rage and found ways through their art to move forward. And I wanted to hear my sisters, who live with depression each day. I wanted to honour their journey. I wanted to understand what they want and how they feel. And I wanted to validate them, because at times in my life, I have been them.

These desires have moved me to do something.

For the past seven years my "doing" has manifested in organising an annual spiritual retreat for women. The motivation for organising this festival was to give women an opportunity to heal within a spiritual context, and in the company of other women. Many women came and gave generously of their skills, celebrated Spirit, as they understood Spirit, shared at many levels as sisters for 4 days then went home renewed and re-inspired. Whilst organising and facilitating this festival, of course, I underwent a healing too. And slowly, I understood that I needed to change my life.

The jewel at the centre of this understanding was, in fact, that I needed to leave the city and live in the country -- close to the Earth, close to Spirit, and far away from the patriarchy which is responsible for many of the maddening realities I mention above. Something deep inside me, was moving me to become radically alive again, as I was, in the halcyon days of the late seventies and eighties, when I lived my life as a political activist, working with women under the banner of WOMEN FOR SURVIVAL, creating events and actions to highlight the injustices of war/violence, particularly nuclear war.

Now, the motivation is more personal, whilst still very political. This is a very special time of transition for many women, as it is for me. I think that there is a great "welling up" within the hearts of many women -- women wishing to do something positive and creative and socially visible at this time of history in our everyday world. That’s why I organised this conference, a forum, where women can come together and look at this issue of depression and rage. I wanted us to gather, somewhere where the scholarly women, and the healers and artists, can use the latest technology to guide us through their research/creations/performances. Somewhere, where women feel comfortable to sit together and share, express their rage and grief, and tell their stories. And at the end of it all, have some outcomes that can be acted upon. And finally -- celebrate with all our hearts.

The conference took place in Sydney on 23, 24 and 25 May 2007, at the Carlton Rex.

Together we can move mountains, because we are the ones we have been waiting for.

In blessed sisterhood,

Anique Radiant Heart

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